Whoa. Never had this feeling before…more money in my account than I think it’s ever had and the ability to totally pay off a credit card (it wasn’t a huge balance, but still). Thank God for tax returns! Seriously.

So, that was one of my goals for this year…check. Credit card paid off.

In other news…God sure has been pricking my heart and “calling” me to something new. I’m not sure what it is. There are so many things I’m “in love” with and passionate about. I know He’s saying “go,” “do,” “be,” “love.” But beyond those words…I haven’t a clue as to the direction. So…after talking with loved ones, praying and seeking His voice…I’m “going after it.” Right now that means = seeking out piano lessons. I’ve always wanted to learn and now seems like a good time to hone my skills and prep myself for leading worship. That’s another part of what this means = more “leading” at church. I sing every Sunday but I don’t usually lead. God’s given me some more confidence and some good experiences and I really feel poised at a position to do so. I pray that He will help me “get there” if that’s what He wants.

Going after it also means = working/serving more with Lantern Vision. It’s a smaller ministry that seeks to promote other ministries through media (mostly video). It’s an awesome thing, if you haven’t heard of them, check it out at lanternvision.org. I’m not sure where this will lead, but I do know photography/media are things I’m passionate about.

The other things that I feel I need to “go after” are travel (either for FUN or for MISSIONS – which are kind of one in the same in my mind) and babies (I LOVE children and find so much joy in loving on them, caring for them and especially giving love to those who do not have mommies or daddies and who need it the most).

Ah. I am a bundled mess. But God is molding me. I hope I listen to His voice and break to His gentle hand that is forming me. It’s a lifelong lesson, I think. Frightening to think about…but yes, He is changing you too. If you let Him. Oh, I pray I let Him. I don’t know WHERE or HOW He’s leading…but just want to follow.

I saw a quote on someone’s Twitter feed…”Life is too short to not live out your passions.” I think this is applicable to my life. And to His giftings/callings/desires for our lives.

Are you following His voice today?

Little update on the 2013 goals. Since some of my friends were so kind to remind me about blogging, I also took another gander at my list of goals for this year. Here’s how it’s going:

- Blogging (at least once a month): Well…I missed February so with this entry I’ve blogged twice in March. Does that count?

- Scripture memory: So far, I’ve memorized 2 verses – Micah 7:18-19 and Psalm 84:10. I’m working on Exodus 14:14 right now. That’s almost 3 out of 10 verses for the year. Not bad!

- Ukelele songs: The goal was to learn 3 songs “by heart.” I’ve been learning one and I think it’s “close-ish” to the goal. Not bad. I did smash my finger in the car door a few weeks ago and will probably lose a nail. That has slowed my practicing time down a bit. Ok, a lot. I haven’t picked up the uke in 3 weeks. Oy. But, I’ll keep at it.

That’s all for now.

I’ve been caught. Red-handed. Friends/loved ones actually read this thing (wow…amazement) and they are holding me accountable. I’m very impressed. Two people told me, “Ahem, it’s March….” and one of my 2013 goals was to blog more, at least once a month. I guess that means I owe this two posts? Sigh…pitiful on my part. Amazing on my friends part. You guys rock.

Speaking of friends…there’s been several “new/interesting” encounters with friends as of late. Most of the time life is going smooth. You hang out with a friend and have dinner. You meet up with several for small group. You watch a movie together. But life isn’t always smooth. And when it gets “crazy,” boy does it ever…

I’ll use code names here….Compassionate Friend has had some rough relationship issues lately. I don’t quite understand how life can be so confusing with a boy. But it is. Women think one way and seem to figure it out, then boy comes along and is totally not on the same track. Explanation? No clue. Except that God made us differently on purpose…and as a man and a woman…we are “meant” to think/process/respond differently. There’s something beautiful to this, however confusing and frustrating it can be at times.

It’s something I’ve learned in my relationship with Blake. There are certain things that used to hurt me or frustrate me until I learned his way of doing things versus mine. For instance, he is a great gift-giver. He loves to give and when he does, he’s really good at it. He takes time, initiative and really gets what a person wants. Sometimes even above and beyond what he/she wants. But Blake is not a planner. He doesn’t think way way in advance and planning events or outings is not his way of showing how much he cares. Me, on the other hand, I love to plan “things” or “fun excursions.” I think it’s safe to say that he shows love by giving gifts and I show love by quality time. It’s a difference that takes getting used to, but oh does it ease the emotions once you realize it. Any couples out there know what I’m talking about and care to comment?

Super Understanding Friend recently had a very dear and close friend of her’s die, suddenly. It was “heart-wrenching,” as she put it. Something I learned with this friend, although we have not known each other long and we are not necessarily “close” friends…one of the best things you can do for someone hurting is just to be. Just be there. Just listen. Just be a shoulder to cry on. Just pray. Just pray for their heart. With Super Understanding Friend…I somehow had a peace that God was going to use the passing of her friend for His good, and also, for the good of Super Understanding Friend. She’d never had a close one die. Isn’t it amazing how God can take something difficult, seemingly impassable, and make it something He uses in the future in our lives?

I think often of my car accident. The details play over and over in my head. It used to terrify me. It used to paralyze me. It took time to heal physically and emotionally. But after…oh God made me stronger…and able to relate to people in painful situations like that. Through the pain and memory, He gave me something to help others with. The same holds true for when I was in a tornado just a few months after my accident. Such beauty in the chaos. After I moved to Alabama, there was the worst outbreak of tornadoes this state has seen in years. More than 200 people were killed. God gave me strength to go and see, to talk to people in need, and to be a shoulder to cry on for those who just needed someone to be with them. Amazingly…God gave me the experience of the tornado to be there for those people. And it was such a blessing for me.

Friends. God gave them to us for a reason. He gave them for us to be with. For us to support. For us to prod on to better things. For us to learn from. For us to encourage.

I’m thankful. I hope I can be a better friend and love whole-heartedly. How about you?

New Year! I wrote down several goals I had for this year…not resolutions…because I don’t think those last. But goals? …those are always good to have. So, I wrote them on a notepad and I’m thinking sharing them with others, whomever may actually read this, would be a good idea. Some accountability. Something “solid” to “hold” my goals in place. I don’t know…just thought it might help. Oh and…one of them happens to be related to posting on this here fine blog.

2013 Life Goals
1) Run another 5K … I almost “died” last July running my first ever, but I’d like to try again.
2) Learn 3 songs on the ukelele … memorize them so I can take my uke with me someplace remote and still be able to sing and play.
3) Read a book (classic?) … just one because I don’t want to “over-do” it. I’d love to read more, but I have a terrible habit of starting a book and not finishing it then starting another and another and another and … you get the point.
4) Share Christ with someone new.
5) Make homemade rolls or bread … Mom always did this but I’ve never done it on my own. And I simply love the smell.
6) Have a small-ish dinner party … love to have friends over and I don’t do it enough.
7) Personal goal … already accomplished!!! WOOT!
8) Write a poem … it’s been a year or more since I’ve written. Time to start.
9) Pay off credit card completely … it’s not a huge debt, but it needs to be a clean slate.
10) Love more like Christ … I don’t honestly know how to “accomplish” this but I want to be reminded of it daily. And sometimes, with some people or some situations, it’s a tough task.
11) Blog once a month … January. Check.
12) Memorize 10 Bible verses … not a skilled Scripture memorizer so I’ve started on the first one this month. I wrote it on a piece of paper and stuck it in my car, and every time I get in, I pull down the paper and read it. So far this is what I’ve got memorized … “Who is a God like you, who forgives sins and pardons the transgressions of the remnant of His inheritance. You do not stay angry forever but delight to show mercy. … ” Micah 7:18-19.

That’s all for now.

“This world may push, may pull but Your love it never fails.”

This season is changing. Time change, already in effect. Before I left work today the sun had set and the chilly night air emerged. Busy season is coming at work (even MORE busy)…with conventions, shortened week deadlines and lots to do in the midst of holidays.

There’s this and that to attend, this to buy and give away, this to fix, that to move. The floor needs cleaning and my desk needs dusting. Pay that bill, mend this relationship, grow here, lesson learned there.

Lots of change…and it’s constant. It’s consistent (if nothing else, it’s consistent).

“This world may push, may pull…” That’s the truth. Not just the unknown world. Not just our enemies. Even our friends, our loved ones, those we trust. Those we think we know. They may push and pull…but…

“Your love…it never fails.”

Tonight, before another possibly big change in leadership of our country, let’s just try to remember one thing…in the midst of change…in the midst of decision making…season’s change…time change…leadership change (or lack of change)…

“Your love, it never fails.”

I’m holding to that truth tonight. And I hope that it sticks with me through a season of change, pushing and pulling. I hope it sticks with you too.

Check it out http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JFmSzL2ppvg

It’s a garbled mess at times, no? I’m not the only one, although it feels like it at times. Schedules are packed, sometimes with important/vital items, sometimes just with laziness (I regret to say that’s true in my life…too many evenings spent lounging on the couch watching a movie with someone I love). Regardless, it’s no excuse.

Current prayer request? Motivation/gumption to get on top of things…to get a little more organized. Get things on my to-do list settled. Be a better friend/stay in touch more. Clean the apartment (YES). Clear my head. Be more consistent in Bible study (ashamed to say that at times of feeling overwhelmed, I leave out the most important thing…the Word). Cook more at home (I love it, why do I let “time” stress me into thinking it’s easier to eat out?) Exercise (it’s so needed to keep us healthy and happy). Maybe even blog more (there’s something creative/freeing/awesome about putting words to paper – or in this case – computer screen). So, here goes. I’m going to try to move this good direction little by little every day. Join me? I’m sure there’s things on your list of to-do’s or wants or aspiring for. Let’s do it together. (Side note: share some blogs that have inspired you lately or that you’ve come across with valuable information? Here’s one I saw a few months ago…and funny enough, the current post is on being busy! http://gracefullmama.com/ )

What are things you’re working toward now? How do you find the time/motivation to do them?

For the hopeless romantics out there and those that I don’t see often enough, here’s a little “inventory” of why I’m blessed by a certain boy named Blake M. Roberts. He’s not perfect, imagine that!! And we certainly have much much much to learn about each other. This isn’t a list saying all is perfect and he or I have no flaws. At times we bicker, we disagree, we get confused, we question. But, God is using him in some cool ways in his own life and in mine. It’s the little things…

• Silly personality (fun-loving, easy-going, loves to tell jokes but almost always tells them wrong the first time and has to say “Wait, it’s actually like this…” makes me laugh)
• Cute as I don’t know what…but I feel lucky every time I look at him
• Clear faith (sometimes grabs my attention by the simplest comment, that I, after a B.A. in Christian Studies (as if that really means anything or as if it means I know what I’m talking about when it comes to following Christ), am still surprised by…like when I felt like an awful person, had let my temper get the best of me and treated someone awful and it was time to sit down to dinner, he asked if I wanted to pray, I hesitantly looked at him and just said, “If God will listen to me”…he reminded me “Of course He will, that’s the beauty of it!” and then he prayed for me)
• Caring (always willing to help someone out, even it it means taking up his time or energy or resources)
• Growing (I see him maturing, becoming stronger as a man, and learning more about God often…nothing is more comforting, exciting or attractive to see in someone you care about)
• Movie buff (what would I do without someone to watch a good flick with?)
• Active (he keeps me moving and I really enjoy it after being in an office all day…he helped me (really really helped me) run my first 5K here in Birmingham a few months ago)
• Knows how/and does not let anger well up inside of him (he has often reminded me to “let things go” and not let them get the best of me…which I need reminding of, since I’m a roller-coaster-up-and-down kind of girl)
• Stable and consistent (there for me when I have needed him for an important task…listens each week at our church as I (good or bad) lead the small congregation in worship)
• Surprises me (flowers, a candy bar, ice cream, a sign on his kitchen counter that says “Neisha!!!!” or a visit at my office)
• Clingy (meant in the best way possible, we just love to be around each other, and it’s nice to know that)
• Supportive (thinks I do good work and am amazing…boy is he so wrong…)
• Compassionate (gives of himself and wants to give more to those in need…man at a gas station was asking for money and his car was broken down, he didn’t have any cash to give this man so went to the ATM, pulled out $20 and handed it over. the man in need said, “Seriously!?”)
• Servant heart (when we eat dinner together at home, he does the clean up…without me saying a word…eat your heart out every girl on the planet)
• Tells me I’m beautiful, daily
• Tells me he loves me, daily…and even when I’m being ugly or we are not agreeing on something

Prayers are going up constantly about this boy and if you feel so led, pray for us too! It takes a village to make a good relationship. And most importantly, a strong foundation in Christ.

What do you cherish about your special someone?

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”

~Romans 15:13