I know, I know. I’ve neglected this.
I don’t really have much of an excuse…which I guess is a good thing. Excuses are lame.
Adjusting…that’s an interesting term when you think about it. Adjustment: meaning adapt or become used to a new situation. It could be different for every person, and every situation. It might take forever in one instance, and be in minutes in another. It can be hard, it can be simple. One way or another, it must happen. Sometimes we force it…and then it isn’t “truly” adjusted. Sometimes it just happens, and we don’t realize until after the fact. One way or another, it must happen.
I’ve been here nearly two months…and can still say I am adjusting. Slowly…and sometimes painfully…but it is happening. Little by little things begin to fall into place, and I can begin to see “my place.” Honestly? It’s rather a long and stressful process. They warned us all about this when we were in training in the fall. They said, “there will be days that you just won’t feel like doing anything, or even leaving your home.” I have experienced a few of those. They said, “there will be days when you just love everything you lay your eyes on…and more.” I have experience this too. One way or another, adjustment must…and will…happen.
One thing that was said in training that has stuck in my mind ever since…and will hopefully never be “un-stuck” is this, “No matter what happens in your day; no matter how you feel or what you think you have to accomplish that week, there is only one thing that HAS TO BE DONE….meet with God, and be with Him….meet with God…and be with Him…meet with God…and be with Him.”
I’ve told myself this phrase over and over…and over again. And strangely enough…it reminds me that nothing is too big for Him, nothing is too petty for Him to recognize as difficult for us, nothing is out of His reach, and nothing can escape His knowledge. Understanding this…I know that I MUST meet with Him…and be with Him…for ANYTHING else to work. No need working myself loopy on things if I don’t do this…if I don’t meet with Him. So, when I’ve felt a bit overwhelmed…this phrase comes to mind. If I don’t do anything else “productive” that day…I know that the one thing I have to do and the one thing that I can do is to meet with God…and be with Him.
I’ve also been pondering what it means to be passionate about something. What are you passionate about? What brings you the most joy? What (something that you do – not a physical object or person) can you not live without? As I’ve thought about these things…this really hard question for me…I’ve tried to think about an event, a moment, or a thing that made me the happiest in my life and tried to remember what I was feeling. In this thought process I’ve realized how easy it is to forget your past…making me want to journal and document more than ever. As I continue to process my thoughts…I encourage you to think about what you are PASSIONATE about…(I know…it’s a really strong word…and frankly sort of frightening to me…but I encourage you to do it). What brings you the most joy?
What’s the point in doing this? Well, besides giving yourself a trip down memory lane and back…to help discover what He has laid on your heart to LOVE. I’m searching…looking for the one thing, or couple of things, that have been given to me as a special gift…something that helps define my character and soul. What is it that God bestowed upon me (and you) for use to further His kingdom? What is that He has given me to LOVE? And why don’t I pursue it?
Given time to think…one can come up with lots of places of needed growth…and I have been finding those while I’ve been here. Amazing what a little time away from the familiar can do…
Blessings to you!