So…here’s the deal. My brain, it’s sometimes crazy. A little loopy. Superbly imaginative. And never sleeps. Well sometimes, but while I’m awake, it’s running non-stop. Usually on one thing at a time, focused and repetitive until I “find an answer.” And if I don’t find an answer, well….
Love. That’s the topic today. Most days I guess, as a single girl who longs for a husband and family…some day.
I’ll be blunt and open. I’ve had two boyfriends. A few “interests” along the way, but only two “real” ones. And, they were both mistakes. Now I’m not saying God hasn’t taught me loads from those mistakes…but I’m also not saying they were easy or pain free.
I was thinking this week, “How do I know that a relationship is from the Lord?” My previous mishaps were clearly not from Him. I entered into them because I wanted to be with someone. I liked the guy, he liked me and bing-bang-boom there you go.
After those relationships started I started praying. Praying I would do “right” in the relationship and that God would lead and bless the relationship, even though it was rather clear from the beginning that it wasn’t right. The first boy (from high school) wasn’t even a believer when we started dating. Mistake #1. Should not have gone any further. Obviously.
So, today I’m wondering. How does any Christian girl know that it’s not her heart and emotions driving the entering into a relationship and how is she clearly guided by the Lord opening the door? Won’t it always involve emotions, attraction, heart?
I guess since I’m not at that point yet, not married, not even dating…maybe that’s why it’s all a bit confusing at this point.
I know one day it will be clear.
Learning (or trying to learn) patience along the way.
One thing I am sure of…my Father loves me more than any man could. My Father fills the void that no man could ever fill. My Father satisfies far beyond a man could ever satisfy me. My Father knows whats best, and His timing is clearly best. I will wait and rest in that. And if some day the Lord brings along “the one,” I’m sure He’ll make it painfully obvious that it’s right.
So, I guess I’m answering my own question.